30 Kisses
by Niu Shiy-Ue
Summary: These are from the 30kisses challenge on lj. NigredoxRubedo. Some spoilers.
1. Fantasy

_Distance proves no barrier between us._

Gaignun was on the edge of the Kukai Foundation as far from the Durandal as you could get and still be on station. Even so, he still reacted to the tendrils of Jr.'s nightmare, handing off the task of overseeing the final repairs of the Gnosis attack to Shelley, almost before he even realized what he was feeling. By the time he had reached the Durandal, he was at a dead run.

_Why do you still cry for him?_

Jr. was so light, it seemed he barely weighed anything at all in his arms. Gaignun frowned, ever since their mutual brother had disappeared, Rubedo seemed to be getting more and more depressed. During the day, Jr. put on a mask, laughing around with Mary, teasing the 100-series, visiting MOMO or Shion. Was Gaignun the only one who saw that those smiles never reached his eyes?

The red-haired boy struggled, unconsciously trying to free himself from his brother's embrace. "Albedo! Please, don't leave me alone!"

_But you're not alone._

Green eyes watched as the smaller boy twisted on the bed, debating whether to let him rest or wake him. Coming to a decision, he shed his shoes and the black jacket before joining the other. Not to his surprise, the other woke up, clouded blue eyes peering up at his face. Small hands clung to the collar of his shirt and pulled him down gently. A soft touch brushed against his face and he let his older brother kiss him, enjoying the moment. The other than fell back and smiled up at him angelically.

"Albedo . . . you're here . . . you didn't abandon me."

Gaignun said nothing, instead closing his eyes and holding the younger looking boy close. He allowed the other to unbutton his shirt and explore.

_Who am I kidding? I was never there for you at all._


	2. Valentine's Day

BAM!

"AAAUUUGGGHHH!"

Gaignun jumped as his older brother slammed open the door and screamed. "Junior-kun?"

The red-headed dynamo quickly ducked behind his taller brother. "Hide me!"

"Wha-"

"Gaignun-sama" Mary burst in, "Have you seen Chibi-sama anywhere?" She looked like she had been running a lot, out of breath and flushed.

Deciding discretion was the better part of valor (especially when his fellow URTV was threatening to shoot him if he gave away his position) he quickly shook his head.

"No?" she pouted. "Well if you do see him, call either me or Shelley immediately. There's something we want to show him."

He waited a few seconds after she left then swirled around to stare at Jr. "Want to tell me what that was all about?"

Junior was obviously rattled; he kept shifting his feet around, loading and unloading one of his pistols. "Do you have any idea what day it is?"

"Tuesday" Bright blue eyes skewered him. "February 14th. Valentine's Day, of course."

"Do you know what that means?"

Yes he did. It meant that every woman (and some of the men) in the Kukai Foundation would be sending a package of chocolate to one of the two Directors. Not to mention half of the ones on Second Militia as well. And God knows how many from elsewhere in the Federation. "Yes, it means our mail processors get overtime and hazard pay all this week."

"Forget the mail people!"

Why was Junior getting so worked up about this? It wasn't as if he was going through all those packages himself; and even then, most of them were for Gaignun, not his 'illegitimate son'. The only ones he might receive in person were from Mary and Shelley and the staff of the Durandal . . .

The staff of the Durandal was composed of several hundred 100-series Realians, all of whom were based on Sakura Mizrahi. Several hundred people and each had a severe crush on the 'younger' member of the Kukai family. And none of them would even consider sending something that important through normal channels. They would all be quite insistent about presenting their gifts in person, possibly en masse. No wonder Junior looked as if the hounds of Hell (or maybe just Albedo) were chasing after him. "Okay, you can stay here."

"Thank you!" Gaignun couldn't remember the last time the hothead had looked so grateful. "What can I do to help?"

"Hmm, could you open that box over there? The one from Vector."

"This? What's inside?"

"I don't know. Wilhelm sent a message, said it was an experimental product and wanted my opinion on it." Junior quickly typed in the security code and opened it. His eyes widened and then he laughed. "What?"

"I don't believe this!"

"Junior! Just bring it over here." The younger looking URTV finally managed to stifle his laughter and brought the box over, dropping it right in front of Gaignun.

Inside was a giant chocolate kiss.

OMAKE

NSU: If Wilhelm had really wanted to screw with their minds, he would have sent it under the name Helmer.

Wilhelm: I actually considered doing that.

NSU: What stopped you?

W: Redundancy. Helmer's going to send his own . . . on White Day.

NSU: . . . Wilhelm, this is all your fault.

W: My fault? Why is that?

NSU: Everything is your fault in the Xenosaga universe. Shion, KOS-MOS, the Testaments, shall I go on?

W: On the contrary, I'm not responsible for any of that.

NSU: Oh? Then who is?

W: Mizrahi, of course. He even created my Compass of Order.

NSU: . . . Unbelievable. --

W:


	3. New Year's Day

New Year's Eve

Title: New Year's Eve

Author: Me

Pairing: GaignunxJr. (NigredoxRubedo), pre-established relationship

Fandom: Xenosaga

Theme: #10

Disclaimer: If I owned Xenosaga, I would have demanded they be less wordy. Because after Xenogears and Episode I, they have a terminal case of gobbledygook.

"Who's idea was this?" Gaignun pressed his ice-filled tumbler against his forehead. It was New Year's Eve and he and Jr. were on the roof of the tallest skyscraper in the Kukai foundation celebrating. With the entire crew of the Durandal. And the Elsa. And those Vector employees. And MOMO. And Ziggy. In other words, just about everyone except Marguilis and Pelligri.

The fire-haired boy turned away from watching the party to shoot an amused glance at the man. "As I recall, it was your idea."

"Mine?"

"You're the one who told them just how amazing the lights are at this time. In fact, that's the first thing you said."

He closed his viridian eyes and groaned. "Me and my big mouth. Why didn't you stop me?"

One fine, blood-red brow arched. "I thought we were trying to be discreet?"

"You still could have-it obviously didn't-wouldn't have looked . . . I'm not arguing with you when I'm drunk."

"You're not drunk. Just a bit tipsy. I can tell."

"If I'm not drunk, then why do I have a headache?"

"Just relax, Nigredo. Watch and enjoy yourself." He did as he was told.

It was entertaining, he admitted to himself. The male Vector employee, Allen was deeply in his cups and started blubbering to chaos exactly what he thought of KOS-MOS, it's creator and the unfairness of the world. To his credit, chaos wasn't taking advantage of the other's inebriation and merely smiling sympathetically (with a portable video recorder running beside him). Captain Matthews was trying to sing one of his favorite songs-a duet by two soprano pop stars (maybe this explained his former headache). Hammer was making a group of 100-series laugh by trying to juggle, trying being the operative word. Tony was flirting with: Mary (who laughed at him), Shelley (who slapped him), Shion (didn't actually get beyond hello before her older brother Jin and his katana stepped in) and MOMO (at which point he was promptly slammed into a wall by Ziggy which ended his spree). Still, he would have rather watched the light display in peace and quiet.

"Is the countdown soon?" he asked his older brother.

"Soon. The laser show is starting."

On Miltia (Second and First) there had been a tradition of celebrating the New Year's with fireworks. It wasn't practical to do so on a station, so instead they hired laser artists. Combined with the Foundation's virtual projection technology which projected any night sky, fireworks, lighting or auroras. It was quite a spectacular display. This year, because of the recent events, the show was somewhat toned down. No fireworks or lightning were projected and the laser show was limited to flowers, geometric and abstract figures. Nothing that would remind the citizens of the recent attacks by the Federation and the Gnosis. But it was still quite good, and for those who had never seen it before, downright spectacular.

"Ten!"

The general hubbub of conversation stopped as people started the countdown.

"Nine!"

Gaignun was surprised when Jr. came over to sit on his lap.

"Eight!"

He would have expected him to be with MOMO, counting with the rest.

"Seven!"

Not that he minded. He shifted so that they would both be more comfortable and continued to watch the giant laser clock in the sky.

"Six!"

But Jr. had different ideas. He stretched up to look Gaignun in the eye, a smirk on his face.

"Five!"

He leaned closer, till they were nearly touching.

"Four!"

Blue eyes had the complete attention of green ones.

"Three!"

Gaignun felt himself tense up in anticipation.

"Two!"

His breath quickened and a slight blush stained his cheekbones.

"One! Happy New Year!"

And Jr. gave him a quick peck on the lips then pulled away. "It's good luck to kiss someone at midnight."

Gaignun let his disappointment drift across the link. "And that's all I get?"

Again, that wry, amused look. "I thought we were trying to be discreet?"

The boy started to step away, but was quickly caught and pulled back down before he could complete the action. Gaignun's arms wrapped around him to keep him from escaping again. "Heh, we saw how well that worked last time."

Jr. laughed and let the other kiss him more thoroughly.

OMAKE:

A pair of gleeful blue eyes turned away to check the images caught by her cell. Yup, she had caught both of them, first at midnight, and then the second that Master Gaignun had initiated. She quickly made her way over to Shelley. "Hey sis, guess what, you owe me ten bucks."

The violet-haired girl looked disappointed. "You have all the luck Mary. I never get any good pictures."

"Timing, sis, timing." At this point the two Godwins were surrounded by a group of 100-series from the Durandal.

"So did you get it?"

"Better than that." Mary flashed a victory sign. "I got two! Don't forget to start putting in orders tonight!"

"I want the one at midnight!"

"I'll have the second one. Knowing Jr. he probably copped out at during the countdown."

"Are you kidding? I'm getting both!"


	4. Best of All Possible Worlds

Best of All Possible Worlds

Title: Best of All Possible Worlds

Author: Niu Shiy-Ue (Me V)

Pairing: Nigredo/Rubedo, some Albedo/Rubedo

Fandom: Xenosaga

Theme: #28 Wada Calcium CD3

Disclaimer: Ah Shion! What has the animation done to my character! (gets hit with a baker's dozen of lawsuits) Okay, fine, they don't belong to me. Hmph.

Summary: Alternate Universe, what if they had managed to contain UDO. Even when things go right, not everyone gets a happy ending.

He'd been awake for a while now, but continued to feign sleep. They never mentioned his imminent mortality to his face. And they were all too experienced to let things slip as they had before. This was the only way he would know what they were really feeling.

"What's that?" Citrine was somewhere off to his left, probably reading the book she had bought earlier. Or stroking the cat. Or both.

"They're calcium pills." And that was Rubedo. He heard the clink of glass on wood, the sound of water being poured. "They're for women, growing children and . . . "

"The elderly."

"Citrine!"

The door opened and cool air wafted over his face. "Don't tell me your still taking care of that daronne(1)?"

"Albe-"

"Mortal lover." A sharp intake of breath from the right; he could almost see the hurt look in Rubedo's face.

"He's right, you know." So far, nothing he hadn't seen or heard or sensed before. Citrine's and Albedo's opinions were well known to him. That wasn't what he wanted to know. "You're going to have to get used to it, Rubedo. Everyone dies eventually."

Mad laughter. "Except us."

"Except us." she acknowledged. "You should just let him go. It would be more convenient."

"I can't believe you're saying that, Citrine. Nigredo's done so much for us." And it was true. As the URTVs had grown older they had eventually stopped aging. And now three of them were trapped, Rubedo as a child of ten, Citrine at an awkward sixteen, Albedo just barely at twenty-one. Without Nigredo, they would all have inevitably been condemned to some orphanage. Or worse.

"You've had plenty of time to get used to it." Also true. Ever since UDO had been sealed in Proto Merkabah when they were almost thirty, they had been waiting for the same thing to happen to Nigredo. But apparently Dmitry Yuriev hadn't considered the Executioner nearly as important as his other creations. The irony was not lost on any of them.

"I'm not like the two of you. I can't just cut myself off from anyone." Unspoken was the 'No matter how much I want to.' But did Rubedo truly want him gone?

"You went through the exact same thing when that catin(2) died."

"Albedo!" A sigh. "Don't talk about her like that. She was more than you ever will be."

"More to you! But why? She wasn't even an URTV!"

"So what! It's not like we have a purpose now!"

He heard some struggling, then Citrine intervened. "That's enough from both of you. It doesn't matter anyway."

"You're right. He'll be gone soon enough."

"The two of you are heartless."

"I could prove ours still exists."

"Albedo, that's disgusting. It wasn't even funny when we were younger." A sharp snap of Citrine closing the book.

"I can't wait for his to stop."

"How many times-mmph" Concerned, Nigredo opened cloudy green eyes. He didn't really believe Citrine and Albedo would try to kill Rubedo, but none of his elder siblings were known for their impulse control.

And wished he hadn't.

He knew Albedo loved Rubedo. Knew it ever since they had met Sakura, felt the almost homicidal hatred that drove him farther and farther toward the edge. But as they had grown up it had faded. When Sakura had died and Rubedo had turned to him for comfort, he hadn't even felt a twinge from their connection.

Apparently, Albedo had become very skilled at hiding his true thoughts.

An outsider would have found it disturbing. Mirror images, elder wrapped around the younger, a tableau of corruption. Another URTV, Citrine, thought it beautiful. Through her eyes, the intermingling of red and white was perfect, two returning to one.

To him, it was just another ghostly spectre of the future, when he was finally 'out of their way'.

He squeezed his eyes shut. But try as he might, he couldn't get the image of their kiss out of his head.

"The two of you need to stop that. I think he's waking up."

He tried to compose himself. No need for any of them to know that he'd been spying on them.

"Hey, Nigredo." Rubedo walked up to the right side of his bed, all easy smiles and shining eyes. Behind him, he could see Albedo sprawled out on a couch, half-mad and sullen. Citrine was exactly where he expected, and she was indeed reading a book and stroking their cat.

"Did I sleep long? What did I miss?"

"Oh nothing much. Just Citrine and Albedo arguing. Again." Rubedo pressed his smooth cheek against his own wrinkled one.

"Glad I missed it then." He looked over at the nightstand. "More pills?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry, they don't taste very good."

"Medicine never does." The elder brother smiled at the joke.

Nigredo smiled back and tried to believe the bitterness he tasted was just the pills.

(1) old man

(2) bitch


	5. Rainbow

1. Yellow

It wasn't really a place. It wasn't a storeroom or an office or even a training ground. Just unused space in the Institute, an area that had never been paved over, where sunlight could filter down, bordered on all sides by more important things. If it had any purpose at all, it was a playroom/study for the variants, a place they could get away from their collective other to be by themselves. But really, Nigredo was the only one to ever use it; his siblings had other ways of getting away from everything. Citrine didn't need it, she was one of those people who could ignore everything around her at will. Rubedo didn't want it, if he needed to forget what he was he would go to the Encephalon and Sakura to do so. Albedo just didn't care, he never wanted to be separated from Rubedo, he feared solitude; when Rubedo would abandon him for Sakura, he would wait outside the Encephalon for his other half, never straying.

So in this not-place he would curl up beneath a sunbeam, on the single bench with a book and wish he wasn't so alone.

2. Indigo

"Hello Nigredo."

Nigredo looked up, green eyes wide. Rubedo was standing in front of him, smiling. Like a pale shadow, Albedo sulked behind him. Citrine was there too, slightly farther off, examining the walls with a frown. Nigredo blushed and ducked behind his book. His siblings had never sought him out before and now all three of them were here. He had never felt so awkward or ashamed before. "H-h-hello Rubedo."

"Can I ask you something?" The younger boy nodded, too embarrassed to risk speaking again. "I saw you reading a book on Victorian customs a few days ago." Another nod. "Do you know what a bouquet of chrysanthemums and roses means?"

"What c-color were the roses?"

"Dark pink."

Nigredo thought back for a bit. "'Thank you for being a good friend.'"

Citrine's voice held contempt. "I can't believe you dragged us out here for that."

"No one asked you to come!" Albedo shot back immediately.

Rubedo kept smiling, although some of the light had gone out of his blue eyes. "Thank you Nigredo. You've been helpful." With that, he collected his two bickering siblings and left.

The youngest variant settled back on the solitary bench. He was alone again, perhaps even more so. Peridot eyes examined the scenery around him. He stood up.

It shouldn't be too hard to charm some supplies out of the Realian technicians.

3. Orange

He finished Citrine's first, in the farthest corner of the not-place. White candytuft edged the oval reflecting pool and on the far side was a sweep of evening primroses. Purple carnations were scattered through the rest of the plot and the entire thing was bordered by yellow oleander bushes.

About the time it was finished, Dr. Yuriev finally noticed what his youngest clone was doing. After inspecting Nigredo's efforts, he gave his permission for the URTV to continue his project. Citrine's area became his favorite.

Nigredo took to avoiding it as much as possible. He didn't want to see his sister that often either.

4. Green

It was while he was planting dahlias around the bench in the southwest corner that he found the kitten. Uncertain what to do with it, he showed it to his other siblings.

"Give it to Father," said Citrine with a shrug.

"What good is it?" asked Albedo, curling closer to his twin.

"Here," Rubedo held out his hand. "I'll take care of it."

By the time they had all agreed on the name 'Gaignun', Nigredo had already filled in the rest of the plot with begonias, purple heather and snapdragons.

5. Violet

He worked on Albedo's between training sessions.The first thing he did was train a small wisteria tree into an arbor over the entrance. The day Albedo shot himself in the head Nigredo transplanted oak saplings into the garden. He scattered primroses over the grave the albino URTV had dug. For a border he transplanted white rose bushes. Nigredo was unsurprised that they bloomed yellow.

6. Red

He saved the sunniest spot, the northeast corner, for Rubedo's section.

It took him a long time to figure out what he wanted to plant there. He didn't know Rubedo, not the way he knew himself. Rubedo didn't wear his heart on his sleeve the way Albedo did. And unlike Citrine, Nigredo actually wanted a connection to his red-haired brother.

Rubedo had been the only one to ever notice him. To ever actually see or care about what he was doing. Watching the elder play with Gaignun, Nigredo realized that Rubedo was the only one who had ever even smiled at him.

Nigredo filled the northeast corner with white gardenias, red camellias, yellow tulips and mistletoe. Unfortunately, Rubedo never saw the completed work. The day after Nigredo finished the garden was the day that Militia fell.

7. Blue

Ten years later Gaignun watched his older/younger brother celebrate the launch of the Durandal with Mary and Shelley. It was a transitional project, the last created with military funding, but also supplemented with money from their growing business interests. The next project, a space colony for the Kukai Foundation, would be entirely supported by commercial investment.

The black-haired man fiddled with the blueprints of the Durandal. He'd never really created anything before; Jr. had been the one to design the Durandal. The closest he had come was the garden back on Militia and that had been years ago. Looking down he realized he had accidentally sketched something on the blueprints. An aster with a needle through it. The station, with the Durandal docked in its center.

He raised his eyes to see the others frolic about, relieving the stress and tension from the preceding months of construction. Rubedo smiled at the two girls, blue eyes flashing with mirth.

A broken heart pierced by a sword. A fitting symbol for the last two URTVs.

AN: That took forever! Here's a list of all the flowers used and their meanings.

Aster: "A symbol of love"

Begonias: "Beware"

Camellias (red): "You are a flame in my heart"

Candytuft: "Indifference"

Carnations (purple): "Capriciousness"

Chrysanthemums: "You're a good friend"

Dahlias: "Death"

Gardenias: "Secret love"

Heather (purple): "Solitude"

Misletoe: "Kiss me"

Oak/Acorns: "Immortality"

Oleander: "Caution"

Primrose: "I can't live without you"

Primrose (evening): "Inconstancy"

Roses (dark pink): "Thankfulness"

Roses (white): "I am worthy of you"

Roses (yellow): "Jealousy"

Snapdragons: "Deception"

Tulips (yellow): "Sunshine in your smile"

Wisteria: "I cling to you"


	6. Basilisk

AN: It's been a while since I've played Xenosaga and now it's all jumbled up in my mind with the animation producing . . . on second thought, I don't really want to claim this.

"Wake up! Oh, please, MOMO-san you have to wake up!"

MOMO shivered and coiled herself tighter. Someone was shaking her and saying her name. She was someplace dark and cold and she didn't want to open her eyes, not if Daddy wasn't going to be there. But whoever it was was insistent, and getting rougher. She felt her eyelashes flutter once, twice, then she opened her eyes. Wherever she was, it was dark and gloomy and cold. The chill bit into her bones.

In front of her was one of her sisters, a Kirschwasser 99-series from the amber eyes and white hair. The other Realian smiled in relief. "W-where am I?" asked MOMO.

The smile dropped off the tanned face. "This place . . . this place has many names: Song of the Nephilim, Proto Merkabah, Wheel of Ezekiel are some. But that's not important now." The 99-series stood and pulled MOMO up with her. "Listen, you need to get out of here."

"Proto . . . Merkabah? Wait!" She dug her heels in as the older girl started to drag her off. "Is-is Daddy here?"

The other shook her head so violently that her hat almost flew off her white hair. "No. That was just an illusion He created so you would be lured here." She gave a strong tug on their joined hands and this time MOMO followed. They traveled along many empty corridors until they reached an airlock. "This is one of the few lifepods installed in here. I'll set it towards Second Militia." She hesitated for just a second. "MOMO-san . . . "

The pink-haired Realian looked up and amber met yellow. "What?"

Instead of answering, the other placed her hands on the side of MOMO's face. MOMO saw a flash of white then an image formed in her mind. Joachim Mizrahi, staring at a capsule that contained MOMO's body. "Soon... Soon you will be born into this world... And once

you arrive, you must do many good deeds... If you do...you can become

human... You can become my Sakura..." he said. Another flash and the image was gone.

"Was that . . . you're memory? Thank you," MOMO told the other. The Kirschwasser just smiled and started to push her into the lifepod.

"My dear Kirschwasser, what are you doing?" The two duplicate girls whipped around to stare at the figure down the hall. The white-haired Realian obviously knew and feared whoever was there because she pushed MOMO behind her as if she was protecting her. MOMO however, saw little of the tall man other than the silhouette of his head, haloed by the red light. And two bright green eyes. "And I thought you were such an obedient child . . . I'm afraid you must be punished."

"D-don't touch her! I promised Daddy I would protect her!" The Kirschwasser was shaking.

"Of course you did, but you helped me capture her anyway. And now you're trying to help her escape. No, I'm afraid you've served your purpose. Now, be a good girl and shoot yourself in the head." To MOMO's shock and horror, the Kirschwasser took two steps toward the figure, took a pistol out from under her jacket, lifted it to her temple and fired.

"How . . . why?" MOMO sobbed.

"Tears . . . how worthless they are. What good do they do? Will you make a river to Hel and bring her back(1)? Or drown yourself in them to join her? Tears are selfish. I never cry." He took a few steps forward and now she could see him.

"Junior-kun," she whispered. Actually, the man in front of her looked more like Raphael than Avnas, but even older than the director of the Kukai foundation.(2) The main difference was the unnatural green eyes and the wavy black hair that was tied back and fell to just above his waist. He was dressed in black and white motley, like a jester in a book Marguilis had shown her. (3)

"Junior? Who's that?" A few steps forward and she was backed into a wall. "Oh, it doesn't matter. You'll tell me soon enough." He reached out and placed his gloved hands on her shoulder. "In fact, you want to tell me anything and everything I want to know, yes?" His eyes, his eyes were so . . .

"I do."

Shion and chaos ran after Junior. Armed with the blueprints of the Proto Merkabah, they only hoped they were in time to rescue MOMO. Shion wasn't sure about trusting Junior's sixth sense on this, but Raphael had said it was the most accurate guide they had. Actually she was confused about many things, KOS-MOS, the song that only she and Raphael and Junior could hear, how the Merkabah avoided being pulled into the black holes around Militia, even the number on Raphael Kukai's hand. She decided it didn't matter, Junior's sensation of something calling him may or may not help them, but searching the facility level by level would take too long.

Avnas finally came to a halt and she nearly crashed into his AGWS. "It's here. This is where . . . " he stopped.

At first, Shion couldn't see why. After a few minutes her tracers picked up MOMO's signal, right by the reactor. As she focused her visual sensors finally detected someone standing right in front of her.

She heard Junior hiss, then he climbed out of his AGWS to confront the man holding MOMO. "Junior-kun," said chaos. "Don't! You can't allow-"

"Shut up!" the red-head shot back. He had finally reached the ground. "Who the hell are you and what are you doing to MOMO!"

"Have you been so wrapped up in these mistakes that you've forgotten me, Rubedo?" The voice reminded Shion of the Director of the Kukai foundation, but older and dripping with bitterness. The man raised his face from MOMO's hair and looked at Junior. She didn't recognize him, but Junior turned white as a sheet. "I'm not surprised. You have so many new toys to replace this broken doll."

"N-nigredo? We believed you were dead."

Shion upped the magnification on her visuals and focused on the man's face, just in time to see it twist into a sneer. "Believed or hoped? It would have been so convenient for you, if I had died! You only ever cared about yourself!"

That seemed to snap Junior out of his shock. "I don't need to listen to someone who sold himself to UDO!" He raised his guns and pointed them at the tall man's head. "Nigredo, if you don't turn MOMO over to me right now, I'll blow off your head!"

"How pitiful you are, Rubedo. Always clinging to the wrong things, the wrong people. Are you afraid I'll kiss her before you? Oh well, I've already taken all I can from her." The man tossed MOMO down to the floor. From behind him, Shion saw a giant AGWS appear; she thought it had been called Simeon. "Now, en garde!"

"It looks like I lose." The broken body of another Kirschwasser was tossed out of the AGWS. "It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter? How can you say that Nigredo!" Junior was panting harshly.

"Avnas-kun, calm down," warned chaos. You don't want to-"

"Avnas, hmm? How appropriate." The large AGWS began to draw back. "Rubedo, there is only one way for you to find your redemption. If you truly wish to atone for what happened fourteen years ago, follow me. Leave behind your toys and I will give you peace. That is . . . if you can."

Shion asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"This reactor is already fully charged." The reactor behind the AGWS opened, revealing a Gnosis inside.

"Damn," said Junior. "You combined the Gnosis . . . with the reactor . . . !"

"You must first destroy this in order to stop Proto Merkabah.

You do realize that... Oh, almost forgot the time! Hmmmm, not much left

now... I'd say five minutes, at best." replied the black-haired man.

"Goddammit, Nigredo!" Rubedo's AGWS started forward, but was pushed back by a strange, shifting green barrier.

"Farewell, my dear older brother. I'm sure we'll meet again."

(1) In Norse mythology, after Hod (and Loki) killed Baldur, his mother Frigg was told that if she could get every living thing to shed a tear for Baldur, she could make a river to Hel and bring him back. But one giantess (Loki in disguise) refused to mourn for Baldur, thus rendering her efforts useless.

(2) I cannot find where Gaignun's name came from (other than the cat, but we all know that); I think someone once wrote that it's the name for the horse of Famine, but I can't get any other confirmation for that. I was originally going to call Albedo Charlemagne, in keeping with the Durandal, but I decided to take his name from Rubedo. Thus Rubedo is now Avnas, a demon who takes the form of a flame and hopes to be redeemed after 12.000 years and Albedo is Raphael, 'Healing of God'. Rubedo's nickname is still Junior though.

(3) I was actually thinking of the clothes Utena wears in the movie. See a picture of them here. Sorry those were the best pictures I could find.


	7. Sharing

As Director of the Kukai Foundation, Gaignun attended dozens of formal events, meetings, galas, promotions and whatnot. As Nigredo had been a quiet, self-effacing child, it had taken him years to get used to the publicity that surrounded his position. The haircut, the perfectly pressed suit and the flamboyant lapel pin, all hideously expensive. The charming half smile, the ebb and flow of casual conversation, all the product of hours and hours of practice with Rubedo. Rubedo had put in an unbelievable amount of work in creating the suave persona of Gaignun Kukai and Nigredo had been determined it would pay off.

And it had. The media had eaten up the image like candy. Whatever else people felt about Realians, the Foundation or Militia, there was no question that Gaignun Kukai was the "#1 Eligible Bachelor", as a certain gossip mag stated. Although the title might have been a bit premature.

"Mary! Shelley! We're going to be more than fashionably late if you don't hurry up."

"As if we'd dare! Chibi-sama would hustle us out the door, even if we were half-naked!" Mary laughed and took his right arm while Shelley took his left. They made a striking pair, Shelley with her hair pinned up and in a shimmering, peacock colored sheath, Mary with her usual hairstyle (though she did leave behind her beret) and a white dress topped with a lacy blue bolero jacket that matched her eyes.

Gaignun never went to any formal event without at least one of the Godwin sisters, usually both. Tabloids paired him with one or the other, creating rumors of break-ups, catfights, infidelity and threesomes over the years. As he recalled, the latest stories had him paired with Shelley but eying Mary, with a possible fight breaking out of his illegitimate 'son'. Or was it the other way around, with talk of an argument about an abortion? He never could keep those things straight, although Junior always got a kick out of them.

He snorted. Mary and Shelley shot him a brief look from the back of the limo, but quickly returned to their discussion. (On Jr. and MOMO he realized. He tuned it out. He didn't want to hear about the pink-haired Realian.) If only the paparazzi really knew why he always took Mary and Shelley with him.

The fact of the matter was, Gaignun Kukai was frightened. Not merely frightened, terrified, horrified, scared out of his wits. The first time he had gone out alone, after his 'father', the former Director Soze Kukai, had died had been a complete disaster. Rubedo had been with him, watching from security cameras, directing him towards important investors, whispering the right things to say in his mind, almost like a prompter.

But Rubedo was still only a child, and when an aggressive young woman had cornered the young Director in an abandoned hallway, he had been left with no way to fend her off. Thank God for Rubedo, his 'bratty little brother' act had not only interrupted her seduction attempt but attracted enough attention that there was no way she could claim anything had occurred. As a matter of fact, he hadn't seen the humiliated young woman for the rest of the night, although they later met after her marriage to a prominent Senator.

Rubedo had pulled off his 'bratty little brother' act quite a few times in the years afterward. He'd watch on the holo, as close as he could get, or he'd get himself into security (Nigredo had never asked how he did this; he was afraid of the answer) and act as Gaignun's 'Eye-in-the-Sky'. Awkward questions, assassination attempts, aggressive gold-diggers, sometimes when Nigredo was just too tired to put up a facade, Rubedo was there for him.

It got easier after he had drafted Shelley into running interference and even more so when he started bringing Mary as well. Now people spent more time whispering about him than approaching him, and those that did usually had something more serious to discuss. Rubedo spent less time giving advice and more time poking fun at the silly stuffed shirts. It became less a battle to suppress the desire to run home and more a battle to suppress the laughter that was bubbling to his lips. From dreading these parties, he began to look forward to them.

"Gaignun-sama, we're here."

He stepped out of the car and gracefully assisted the two Godwin sisters. Turning towards the wall of flashes he put on that practiced half smile. It's show time.

Several hours later

In the Durandal, things were almost the opposite of the wild party he had just attended. There were only a few 100-series around, and they were all quietly bustling with work assigned to them by Junior. They offered him quick 'Hellos' and shy smiles, but didn't pay him any more attention than that. Even Mary and Shelley split off, to sleep or perhaps Junior had some project he wanted them to do. If Gaignun Kukai was the focus of the outside world, then Gaignun Kukai Junior was the center of the world inside the Durandal. Even Gaignun felt himself beginning to bend to the force of his older brother's personality.

In any case he was looking for the red-headed boy. For some reason, Junior had been curiously silent tonight, not a joke, not a word, not even a flicker from him. The younger/older Kukai was always going on about something, even when they attended these events together. Why was his brother blocking him?

Long-legged strides quickly brought him to a small computer room. Junior was speaking to someone on the holo while Ziggurat 8 looked on over his shoulder.

"-while since then. It has been a while since I've had a vacation; if I can convince Gaignun I'll come down to Second Militia and spend some time with you. Speaking of which-"

MOMO.

Rubedo had abandoned him to talk with that _copy_?

Blue eyes looked up and spotted him standing at the door. "-be fine. Could you hold on a bit, MOMO? There's something I need to take care of. Why don't you spend some time talking to Ziggy?"

Sure

He got off the chair and made his way over to Gaignun. "Hey"

"Hello"

"Is something wrong? You look somewhat pissed."

"Watch your language," he replied absently. "Do you know what day it is?"

He received a puzzled look. "Friday?"

"Tonight was the Linderman Party. For the Guzman account?"

"Oh. Oops. Was I supposed to attend?"

"No" _Why am I making such a big deal out of this?_

"Oh good. Because MOMO called and-"

"I know." He started walking down the hall toward his room. "But what if something had come up, Rubedo? Mary, Shelley and I were expecting you to be there, helping us."

"Aw, Gaignun, you're all old enough to take care of yourselves. You don't even need my help anymore."

"Perhaps not with the paparazzi or the-"

"Even if something happened, Security would inform me. I don't have to hide now."

"I know you can't always watch out for us and I'd understand if it had been something like a Zohar or a Gnosis attack or if Helmer had asked you to do something. But-"

"Good grief Gaignun, I just wanted to speak to MOMO. I've been so busy I haven't talked to her since Militia fell. So I missed one party, no big deal."

Gaignun bit his lip._ It's a big deal to me. We worked hard for this, Rubedo, and now you throw it all away for some cheap replica of Sakura? I won't let you do that. I won't let you ignore me for some toy! _"Still, I would feel safer if next time you did your job."

"Okay, okay, fine. Next time remind me and I'll be sure to be there. Now if you excuse me, I'm still on the holo with-"

"No, I think you should apologize to Mary and Shelley first."

Junior stopped and looked up at him. "This isn't about me missing the party, is it? This is about spending time with MOMO."

"Rubedo-"

"A-ah. Come down here." Gaignun knelt so that he was at the same height as his older/younger brother. "Nigredo, I'm your older brother. I'm not leaving or abandoning you or any silly thing."

"I never said-"

"I know you never said. But you certainly were implying it." The shorter boy leaned forward and kissed Gaignun's forehead. "It's not just you and me any more. There's Mary and Shelley and chaos and Ziggy and Shion and that stupid guy Allen. MOMO's just one more person we're sharing with, OK?" He stepped back and allowed Gaignun to stand up. Before the man could say anything however, Ziggy poked his head out into the corridor.

"Junior, MOMO has to get off the holo soon. She wants to say good-bye to you."

"Be right there." And with a wave at the taller man, Junior disappeared back into the room.

_Damn it Rubedo._

_I worked so hard . . . _

_But I might as well have disappeared when you met MOMO._

_Look at me Rubedo. Look back at **me**._


	8. Philosopher's Stone

"So there's no hope at all?" Rubedo whispered.

"We don't know," replied Helmer. "This is Wilhelm and chaos that we're talking about; we have no real idea what those two are capable of. In addition, we're fairly sure about the continued existence of KOS-MOS and UDO. We're certain that most of the Vector employees, including Allen, Shion and Jin Uzuki could not have survived the crash of the Elridge."

Rubedo's hands tightened on the edge of the table. "And the Testaments?"

"Actually, that's why I contacted you. Now that we know that Zarathustra really was Albedo-"

The younger cut him off. "I haven't sensed Albedo since he became a Testament."

The image in front of him sighed. "Then we must assume the Testaments have died as well."

"So what happens now?"

"We can't get near the planet."

"More black holes?"

"If only it was that simple. No, UDO has placed some sort of shield around the planet. It appears to have accessed Deus, and is now manipulating the planet to its will."

"But at least this time it's isolated. There's nothing there except for the wreckage of the Elridge, right?"

The Representative hesitated. "Actually, we have evidence that intelligent life exists there. The Senate has not been informed of this yet."

"Just what we need. More Gnosis."

"Actually the number of Gnosis attacks is steadily decreasing. Whatever UDO is doing, it no longer is drawing the Gnosis into are dimension."

"That's good."

"This isn't over yet. Your talents will be invaluable in the future, so I will continue to keep you and Nigredo informed of the Federation's progress. Helmer out."

Rubedo sat back and sighed. "You can take the General out of the military, but you can't take the military out of the General. You can come out now, Nigredo."

The taller man stepped out of the shadows. He looked gaunt and stressed. Fighting Yuriev for control of his body had a lot out of him and even now, six months after they had finally managed to contain UDO in the Deus supercomputer of the Proto Merkabah, he was still feeling the effects. "You did well."

"Heh, you're the front person, not me. I'm just the sword, you're the pen."

"I should be able to return to work soon."

The younger looking boy waved him off. "No hurry. I'm the older one after all, I should take some responsibility."

The other looked him over. "You should get some rest. You've been running on empty since before KOS-MOS's confrontation with UDO."

Rubedo bobbed his head. "Yeah, especially given what Helmer said. Looks like we're in for a long trip."

Rubedo never told his younger brother, but he hated sleep. His dreams were all the same, filled with those who had gone, red-tinged and pandemonium. Tonight was no exception. They were all there: Sakura, Citrine, Albedo, Yuriev. New faces too, Shion, Jin, chaos. The living were there as well, Ziggy, MOMO, Helmer and Yuri Mizrahi. They were all reaching out to him.

"My other half, let us burn in Hell forever." Albedo smirked at him, clawed hands pulling him down into a pool of red and black.

"Live for me, Junior-kun." said Shion, grabbing his hand. Hers were a ruin of bone and blood.

"Your purpose is complete. You must be disposed of." Yuriev, his body riddled with bullet holes, pushed him down again.

"You promised, Rubedo, you promised me." Sakura pulled on his arm, trying to drag him away from Albedo. Her eyes were empty sockets, crying dark tears that he could almost taste.

Promises, promises, so many promises. Promises to Sakura, to Albedo, to MOMO, Ziggy, Citrine, Helmer, Nigredo. Like so many chains wrapped around his limbs, all pulling him to life, pulling to death, pulling him apart. He felt like a prisoner on Lost Jerusalem, whose limbs were stretched till they pulled apart on a wrack or tied to four horses to be torn apart. "Stop it!" he cried. "Leave me alone!"

"Rubedo, Rubedo!"

"Junior-kun, please stay with me."

"Rubedo, you can't die now. We'll need the URTVs in the future. You haven't done enough."

"I did my best! Isn't that enough!" He was screaming now.

And for the first time in fourteen years, the cacophony that was his sleeping mind began to quiet. A shadow began to fill his mind, dissolving the red and swallowing the disappointed faces that surrounded him. As each was lost in the darkness, their voices quieted, then fell silent. The hands that had been grabbing him anywhere disappeared, until finally there was only himself, the shadow and Albedo. For a moment, they both hesitated, the shadow and Albedo. The Albedo reached out and smiled at him, a real smile, like he had so long ago before Rubedo had messed everything up. The shadow wrapped itself around them, soft and wispy almost like a cloud and Rubedo knew nothing more.

Nigredo raised his head and looked down at the still warm body he cradled. The blue eyes were closed, lips slightly raised in a small smile. For the first time in fourteen years, his older brother looked at peace. Suddenly unable to look at what he had done, the taller man buried his face in the red hair.

Everything was over. UDO had been contained, the Gnosis were disappearing, there was no purpose for the URTVs anymore. Rubedo deserved his rest. And to keep him from Albedo, to let him face those endless centuries alone, once Nigredo had died . . .

Or so he told himself. But he couldn't stand it. He would never hear that voice, both mocking and reassuring, in his mind again. Never see those eyes sparkle in anger or amusement. #669 was now truly the last of the URTVs.

He closed his eyes, but tears continued to fall in the corpse's red hair. He slid one hand beneath the pillows on the bed and pulled out the gun he knew was there. It was the Pistolet Markarov that he had given Rubedo that day, the beginning of the end.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against the other's one last time. "Don't leave with Albedo quite yet. Wait for me, please, Rubedo."

Then he raised the Pistolet to his temple, pulled the trigger and.

Nothing more! Yes, it really is supposed to end like that! Bad grammar and all!


	9. Sweet Dreams

Rubedo dragged himself out of the depths of sleep, the ragged, slimy fingers of nightmare clinging to his mind. He was still for a few moments, trying to figure out what had awoken him. Shadows billowed against his vision for a second, alerting him to the distress of one of his fellow URTVs. A few more seconds and he realized it had not been his nightmare, but rather one of the clones. The blue overmind of the normal URTVs began to sparkle with awareness, disturbed by the same images as he was. But he still couldn't tell who was causing the ripples.

He reached down and tapped his twin on the shoulder. "Albedo, Albedo, wake up." The white haired boy murmured then buried his face more deeply in Rubedo's stomach. "Albedo, I need your help with something."

One lazy violet eye opened. "Whaaaat?"

"Someone's having a nightmare. Who is it?"

The other grumbled and closed his eye, but he felt the soft brush of his twin's empathy reaching out. A few seconds later dark eyes popped open again. "He's such a baby. Crying over a nightmare, instead of worrying about real things."

"Thank you, Albedo." Rubedo slipped out of their shared bed. Albedo's statement about being a baby meant only one person.

"Where are you going?"

"His nightmare is waking everyone up. Don't worry, I'll be back in a few minutes." Albedo swore under his breath, but within a few moments the white head disappeared under the covers.

Rubedo carefully made his way down the hall of the dormitory. A few doors were open, the URTVs who were just a little more intelligent or independent or sensitive than their fellows were already awake. He tried to calm them and sent them back to bed, promising to take care of things.

At the other end of the hall, he quickly tapped in his code to unlock the door to the last room. The inside was just as bare as all the others, except instead of the usual four bunk-beds or the two pushed-together that made up his and Albedo's room, this was slightly smaller and only held one bed. A younger, black haired boy was curled up in the covers and crying.

Rubedo closed the door behind him. Sitting on the bed he reached out and began to rub the smaller boy's back. It always helped when Albedo was overwhelmed by the hate from the other URTVs and it worked just as well on the last of the special ones. The other's sobs slowed into hiccups then stopped and after a few minutes he turned around to show teary green eyes at the older clone. "Hello," said Rubedo.

"H-h-hello."

"You're the new one, right?" The other nodded. "I don't think we were really introduced this morning. I'm Rubedo."

"I-I'm Nigred-do."

"Well, Nigredo, would you like to tell me why you were crying?"

Viridian eyes stared suspiciously at him, but slowly melted into trust when the red-head didn't laugh or mock him. Rubedo wondered if he had ever been that naive and innocent. "Everyone he-here is-s s-so mean. Their eyes are s-so c-cold and, and they k-keep s-saying I'm a m-monster 'cause I'm different-t from the others-s and, and . . . their thoughts h-hurt so bad-d. Right h-here." The small boy gestured to his chest. "Everyone h-hates me."

Rubedo took a deep breath and reminded himself that the other URTV was three years younger than he was. And the other didn't have an Albedo to protect and be strong for. It had been just as bad when he and Albedo had left isolation, but this one didn't have anyone to support him. "Not everyone hates you," he said, thinking about how glad he was for Albedo. At least he had some experience in comforting someone. "I don't hate you. Neither does Albedo. We're just like you. Special."

"R-really?"

"Yup. Check out our hair." The other stared at the blood red locks for a second. He began to calm and his breathing began to slow. Rubedo took this opportunity to go to the attached bathroom and dampen a clean towel. He came back and washed the tear stains from the other boy's face. "Do you want me to stay here until you go to sleep?" he asked as he began stroking the obsidian hair.

"Uh-huh." He started humming a soft song; Rubedo wasn't a very good singer, but he could stay fairly on tune as long as he wasn't trying to concentrate on the words instead. After a few more minutes periodot eyes began to flutter and eventually closed. Rubedo waited a few more minutes, then leaned down and kissed Nigredo's forehead before leaving.

He made his way down the now empty corridor and into his and Albedo's room. He knew the other was awake but tried to be quiet anyway. As he slipped back into the shared bed, Albedo commented on the newest addition to the URTV army. "I said he was a baby. Can't believe he's the Executioner."

"Hush Albedo. He's just scared, meeting everyone today."

"Yeah, meeting those meat bags would scare the Gnosis into retreating. Were they bullying him too?"

"Yes."

"Cheap, mass-produced bastards. I'll beat them up tomorrow during training."

Rubedo just shook his head and closed his eyes. He mentally reminded himself to ask Dr. Yuriev if they could step up the mental training. He really wasn't looking forward to dealing with an over-emotional, out-of-control telepath.


	10. Shadow of the Snake

Warning: This has a spoiler for XSII.

_**BEGIN**_

Junior sneaked into his brother's room to check on him. Gaignun had been acting odd all 'afternoon' according to Mary, isolating himself, looking up various military projects and UTIC and snapping at anyone who crossed his path before finally locking himself in his bedroom/office. Rubedo thought that maybe some problem had come up, either with the Foundation or that Helmer had dumped on him, but a quick call to the Representative and some discreet investigation with Shelley had revealed nothing. Even UTIC was being quiet and the Foundation was doing better than ever. So now Junior was really worried that there was something seriously wrong with his brother; perhaps he was sick or his power had been bothering him again.

The room was dim, the only light coming from the turquoise wall scones and the glimmers from the city outside. He couldn't see the bed from this angle, but the darker URTV wasn't behind his desk either. "Gaignun?" he asked softly, not wanting to wake the other if he was sleeping.

"Come over here, Rubedo." The red-headed boy started before seeing the chair pulled in front of the glass wall. He quickly walked over. "Was there something you wanted?"

"Eh, sorry for disturbing you. I was just checking if you were alright."

"Oh? Why?"

"Mary said you were acting strange this afternoon. Is something wrong?"

"No, not really. Just another of my migraines, that's all. I'm sorry for making everyone worry."

"Another one? I'd thought they'd stopped." Junior was worried. When Gaignun was growing up, he had episodic blackouts, bracketed by debilitating migraines before and after his attacks. They had eventually gone away after puberty, but he remembered how frightening it had been to watch his brother hurting then passing out and being unable to help him. "Did you black out again?"

Gaignun shook his head and smiled at him serenely. "I took a nap and when I woke up it was gone. I'm feeling much better." They spent a few moments in silence. "Come closer."

Junior eyed him carefully for a few minutes but decided that his brother wasn't lying to him and stepped to his side. "Well, you seem to be in a good mood now." he said. To his surprise, Gaignun grabbed his hand and pulled him into his lap.

The older URTV immediately tensed up. While 666, 669 and . . . while he and Nigredo had been very touchy-feely as children, openly affectionate gestures had stopped as Gaignun had grown up. As much as they did love each other, the growing disparity between them had been awkward. Hugs and affectionate touches only emphasized the differences between them and eventually had overwhelmed any comfort either received from the gestures.

Junior squirmed for a while but came to the conclusion that the other wasn't going to let go soon and simply settled back. Anyway, it's not as if his younger brother had many options if he wanted physical comfort, not like Junior, so putting up with a little closeness was the least he could do. He decided to simply spend the time staring out the window rather than dwelling on the smothering sensation.

But as time past and the silence lengthened he noticed something that made him even more uncomfortable. He could clearly see himself reflected in the window, all bloody hair and too big blue eyes. Gaignun, on the other hand, faded back. With Junior in front of the flamboyant lapel pin, and Gaignun's black suit and hair not reflecting at all in the glass and with Gaignun's arms crossed over his waist, bisecting his own image in half, all Junior could see of his darker counterpart was his face and his hands, floating separate and alone in the room. It was almost as if he, Junior, was carried by a ghost of his future self.

The boy held his breath to stop himself from screaming. What was wrong with him? Then Gaignun started speaking and Junior was relieved for the break in the tense atmosphere.

"Red Dragon"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"That's you. The Red Dragon. The most precious of the URTVs. Without you, the rest have no purpose."

And then it was back again, even worse.

"I don't understand what you mean."

"The entire URTV project was centered around you. Any and all of the others were expendable, but you were the sole exception. I think I may understand Albedo a little more now."

"Gaignun?" The other ignored him and instead kissed his hair.

"I hope you understand the importance of your continued survival right now. Ormus, the Zohars, and remember that UDO still exists despite Albedo's death. As of right now, you are an unacceptable loss."

"You're seriously starting to creep me out."

"Sorry, just thinking aloud." The vice-like grip around his waist loosened and Junior took the opportunity to escape. Just as he was about to leave, the older man caught his hand and pulled him back. "Sweet dreams, my dear son." he said, bestowing another kiss on Junior's forehead.

Blue eyes widened, then he forced a laugh. "I'm not your son, old man."

A slight smile that didn't reach teal eyes was all he received in return. Then Junior turned and all but fled the room.

_**END**_

For those of you who don't get what's going on, Junior's actually speaking to Yuriev during the whole conversation. Junior doesn't know that, but he's getting creeped out anyway.


	11. Benediction

Title: Benediction

Author: Me

Pairing: Nigredo, Rubedo (except really, really too young)

Fandom: Xenosaga

Theme: #22 cradle

Disclaimer: Do I look rich to you?

Warning: Please do not take Rubedo's actions as an orthodox religious ceremony. In the story, he's just a kid who doesn't really know what he's doing. If you want information on the actual procedure of baptism, check out: http/ or Wikipedia.

_**S E C T I O N B R E A K**_

"666, 667 and 668 report to the incubation room now." Dr. Yuriev's voice boomed over the crackling PA system. In the training room a mass of blond heads turned towards the three shortest figures scampering out. The mental link began to buzz and hum with the usual litany of (Monsters), (Abominations) and (Mistake). One of the figures began to whimper softly, a pale boy with wide, liquid violet eyes.

"Just ignore them," said the flame haired girl, striding away confidently despite her less than 4 ft. height. "They're just jealous 'cause even together that's the worst they can say."

"Yeah," chimed in the red-headed boy. "Anyway we aren't mistakes or ambonimations-"

"Abominations" corrected the girl.

"-abominations or monsters or anything like that. We're special."

"I don't want to be special!" cried the white-haired boy.

"You don't want to be like them either, do you?" asked the girl contemptuously. "They can't even think right."

"No . . . I just want them to stop picking on me!"

"They pick on us too. But they can't do anything except 'cackle and gab' as the Realians say." 668 might have continued, but they had reached the incubation room and none of the three wanted to anger Dr. Yuriev.

"Come in. I want the three of you to meet the newest URTV." One thin hand gestured to the incubator, where a small, nearly full-grown fetus waited to be decanted. "This is 669. He's another variant, like yourselves."

"You're making more URTVs? I thought we were the last," said the red-haired boy, blue eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"No, this is the last. 668, although you are the control of the URTV army, 669 will be the failsafe, just in case something should happen to you and you are unable to perform your duties."

"Failsafe?" asked the albino clone.

"Yes. 669 is to be the Executioner, capable of destroying all URTVs in case there is a loss of control."

668 frowned. "We don't need a failsafe; I'm able to perform my duty perfectly. Besides, if you had to make another URTV, why didn't you make it a girl? There are too many boys already."

"There were many factors, other than gender equality or the need to preserve the mitochondrial DNA, that went into that decision." Dr. Yuriev might have elaborated on that statement, but his beeper went off. "Not another incident in the training room." He got up to leave. "The three of you can stay and read more about your brother. However, be sure to go to your tactical lessons in half an hour." With that, the elderly doctor was out the door.

The red-head immediately went to the desk and began to pull up facts. "Independence from link . . . increased UDO resistance . . . hypnotic voice augmented by changes to the irises . . . looks like this one doesn't act like we do. Instead of neutralizing UDO, he seems to resist or be immune to it."

The girl was carefully examining the incubation tube. "Does it say what color his eyes are?"

"Hmm," said the blue-eyed boy. "Nope"

"We should give it a name," interjected the albino. "He's just like us so he should have a name, not just a number."

"What do you want to call him?" asked the girl.

"Well, he's got black hair, can hypnotize with his eyes and his voice and he's supposed to kill all of us . . . how about Basilisk?" Violet eyes looked hopefully up into blue.

"I don't think so. That's not a very nice name Albedo. Let's see, Dr. Yuriev named us after specific aspects of psy-psychology, didn't he?"

The girl nodded. "From Jung. Or from phases in alchemy. Whatever that is."

Rubedo began reading aloud from the material displayed by the hologram. "Albedo: 'whitening' or preparation for infusion of spirit, Cinitras-"

"Citrine," stated the girl, blue eyes flashing.

"The 'yellowing', the reunification of the spirit and the materia, and Rubedo: 'reddening', the final stage of completion." continued the red-haired boy. "There's another stage listed here."

"Go on." The white haired boy closed his eyes and leaned on his twin.

"Nigredo: 'blackening' the first stage of alchemy, the stage of decay."

"Well," said Citrine. "He does have black hair and he is supposed to kill us. Dead things decay."

"Fine, we'll call him Nigredo."

"I don't like him." said Albedo. "I don't like something that's going to separate me from Rubedo."

"I agree," added Citrine. "He's unnecessary. And why did Dr. Yuriev make him three years after us? He doesn't fit in." She looked as though she expected an answer from the eldest, but Rubedo had none to give. Finally she turned away. "Come on, Albedo. We'd better hurry or we're gonna be late for class."

The pale boy slipped after her, but stopped at the door. "Rubedo, aren't you coming?"

"Just a sec. I need to close this program before we leave."

"Okay"

When the glowing display had faded from the air, the oldest of the variants went to examine the fetus. He reached out one hesitant hand. There was something he, as the eldest, was supposed to do, but he didn't really understand. Finally he reached out and brushed a cross on the surface of the incubator. "I baptize you, Nigredo . . . " he hesitated. " . . . in the name of Dmitry Yuriev, as a fellow URTV, against UDO." He didn't think that was right, but he didn't have any more time. With that, he left, more worried about being scolded for being late than concerned about the creature growing in the incubator.

It wasn't a kiss, but it was the best benediction any of the URTVs could hope to have.


	12. Dear Shion

Dear Shion,

You were right, I was wrong. The uber-bunnie plushie will be arriving on your doorstep a few days after this; I had to special order a box big enough to send it in.

To be honest, I never expected the plan to work. Actually, I never thought there was _anything_ to your speculations at all! I thought Little Master had a crush on MOMO. And the idea of Master Gaignun being anything other than straight never even occured to me. Although I might have been the only one; my sister and quite a few members of the Durandal bridge crew cleaned up in the pool. I didn't even know there was a pool on when Little Master and Master Gaignun would break down and confess!

Master Gaignun must have been under more pressure than we thought. He'd been having migraines from the stress and everyone was worried. It finally came to a head when Little Master took a call from MOMO, in between one of their endless meetings. It wasn't that long a conversation, but something about it set Master Gaignun off (I think it might have been the promise to go down to Second Militia to see her as soon as he had free time). Anyway, as soon as it was over, Master Gaignun asked Little Master if he'd prefer to be moved to Second Militia to spend more time with MOMO. Little Master was very surprised, it must have seem to come out of the blue to him. When he asked why, Master Gaignun pointed out that he seemed to prefer talking to the Realian than performing his duties.

(Which is blatantly untrue! Little Master has actually taken on more work, if only to spare Master Gaignun his migraines.)

After Little Master had calmed down a bit from his temper tantrum, he asked Master Gaignun what was his problem with MOMO. It took some prodding and poking, but eventually Master Gaignun admitted that he felt that MOMO was stealing Little Master away from him. I don't think Little Master had quite gotten it yet because he spent some time going on about how they were brothers and nothing would ever change that, until Master Gaignun just got so frustrated that he blurted out that he loved him!

(That reminds me, I can't remember if MOMO-chan wants the pink dress or the green one. Could you ask her for me? Although I don't see why_ I _have to buy the dress; it was _your_ plan!)

They spent the next week walking on eggshells around each other, and for a while there I was sure you were wrong. But Little Master ended the whole thing so casually. At the end of the inspection of the Durandal, as Master Gaignun was about to slink off and sulk again in his office, Little Master just turned around and told him that he loved him too!

Augh, I'm not describing this well, but I've included two small holo clips with this message so you can see what happened.

Anyway, they're still at the shy-and-awkward stage right now. The 100-series are having fun trying to snap pictures of them together, which isn't helping their paranoia. Even my sister got in on the act, which I never expected!

So now I'm left trying to fufill all those stupid bets I've made. I'll try to keep you updated as their relationship progresses (or you could check out one of the LiveJournal's of the bridge crew, I'll try to include the address in the next letter). Hugs and kisses to all of you!

XOXOXOX

Mary Godwin

P.S. I haven't gotten Jin's prints yet. I'm going to have to ask for an advance on my salary from Master Gaignun before I can afford them. Gah! I'm never making a bet with you or your brother again!


	13. How Rubedo Got His Gun

Quick AN: Normal text is from Nigredo's POV, _Italics_ from Rubedo's, **Bold** is Nigredo using telepathy, Underlined is Rubedo using telepathy.

_Blue eyes fluttered open slowly. The first things Rubedo noticed was his pounding headache and the low level emergency lights that stabbed into his eyes. The next, was that he was lying on a dusty metal-grille floor with his hands and feet handcuffed behind his back. What had happened?_

"-and any attempt to contact the police and we'll kill your son, understood?"

"Y-yes. May I speak to him?"

"No" But the vid output shook, then steadied on a small red-headed figure lying on the floor of some yet unknown location. "However, you can see that currently he is alive and unharmed. We will contact you again within twenty-four hours with our demands." The connection was cut off.

"Gaignun-sama? I'm sorry, he didn't stay on long enough for us to trace his whereabouts."

"Shelley, call the police immediately. I'll also call Helmer."

**Rubedo?**

N-nigredo?

**Are you alright?**

No

**Where are you hurt?**

Not like that. Some kind of drug. Knocked me out. Having trouble concentrating.

**Don't worry, we're coming to get you. Do you know where you are? And who you're with?**

No. I think I'm still on the station. I can't see the guys who've got me, but I can hear them talking.

**Just stay still. Don't let them know you're awake.**

Gaignun opened his eyes. "Shelley, make sure to tell the police that whoever did this, they were close enough to drug Jr. And keep the ports closed, they haven't left the Foundation yet."

A murmur went through the gathered 100-series. "Shall we initiated section lock-downs, sir?"

"Yes. When the police get here, they can start searching sections individually without having to worry about whoever it is escaping."

Mary turned toward him. "Gaignun-sama, Wilhelm of Vector is on the line."

_Rubedo carefully squirmed around till he had managed to slip the handcuffs off his wrists. Through slit eyelids, he had noted the one-way mirror and door in front of him. A hurried glance had revealed no other cameras. If he kept his eyes shut and facing toward the mirror where his captors were watching, hopefully he could get the handcuffs off and his feet untied without them noticing. Of course, if they had noticed his slip-up earlier, they were due any moment now to come in, to tie him up more securely or knock him out again._

_He could only hope . . ._

_Fortunately, the handcuffs were a little on the loose side. Just enough to allow him to slip his thin hands through them, without having to dislocate anything. After that is was quick work to untie his feet. He spent a few more minutes still, getting his breath back and waiting. When nothing happened he stood up._

"Did he have any enemies?"

"You've got to be kidding me officer." said Mary. "He's a twelve year old kid. The only enemies he has are the bullies down the lane."

"I'm sorry, mam, but we're trying to cover every aspect of this case." The police officer, another remnant of the Life Recycling act, with large, metallic prostheses appeared almost intimidated by the shorter woman. "Your sister is already drawing up a list of Kukai's and the Foundation's enemies, but we need as much information as possible."

"He didn't have any enemies!"

"Mary, please. I'm trying to stay calm here and you're not helping." pleaded Gaignun, rubbing his temple.

_"-cking punk!" the man choked. Rubedo didn't allow himself to stop, stabbing him once more in the stomach then pulling up as hard as he could. He breathed a quick thanks to whatever deities existed that his captors had been too stupid to search him. The knife wasn't very big, but it did it's job. Rubedo wobbled for a second, then closed his eyes._

_Nigredo_

_**Rubedo! We've closed the docks, locked-down all the sectors and the police are searching each one inch by inch. We'll have you out of there in no time.**_

_Little brother they already know. They sent someone in here to kill me._

_**How badly are you hurt? Do you know where you are now?**_

_I'm no worse than I was before. The headache's still here. And no, I'm still have no idea where I am._

_**Just hang on. I'll make sure the teams all have medics with them. Don't move, you'll just make yourself sick.**_

_Not an option, brother._

_**Rubedo! Rub-**_

"When they call, try to stall them for as long as possible." The female Vector employee had a very smooth, calming voice. In different circumstances, Gaignun was sure it was effective. Right now, however, he was far too worried over what trouble his older brother was getting into to be reassured. "And ask if you can talk to him again. We need to confirm that he's alive."

"What should I say about the lock down?"

"This is a similar procedure to your normal emergency drills?" Gaignun didn't answer so Mary took up the slack.

"Yes, in case of a Gnosis invasion we isolate the compromised sector until the Gnosis are defeated or until the Foundation needs to be evacuated."

"Tell them it's a routine drill, planned months in advanced. We don't want to back them into a corner, but it's too late to take back the order now."

_He crawled slowly through the air vents. He had to stop every so often because the dizziness overwhelmed him, but kept moving as much as possible. Yuriev had enhanced the physical abilities of the URTVs, but even fast regeneration couldn't keep Rubedo from suffering some of the side effects of whatever his captors had dosed him with._

_He reached another open section and came to a halt. From the angle he was at, he could see the Durandal from out the window. He could also see the guard just below him._

_Rubedo took a deep breath then slammed down on the grate, dropping down on top of the guard. He hoped that with the advantage of surprise, he could incapacitate the guard, but luck wasn't with him. The fall knocked Rubedo breathless, but didn't knock the guard out. The also fell away from each other, rendering Rubedo's knife useless. He threw it at the man, but it only drew a thin line of blood from his cheek. 'If I get out of this alive, I'm never going anywhere without a gun. And ammo. Lots and lots of ammo.' he thought, scrambling for something else to throw._

_Unfortunately, while Rubedo was a URTV, with the increased strength and reflexes built into the design, he was also stuck in the smaller, weaker body of a twelve year old, not to mention still fighting off the grogginess and headache from the drugs. A twist and suddenly there was the sharp crack of bone. A few more good punches and he was staring up at a gun barrel._

_"Checkmate, punk." Thick fingers tightened on a trigger._

_And then the door fell in on top of him._

_"Police! No one move!"_

"Chibi-sama! You're alright!" The two Godwin sisters showered the little red-head with kisses, being careful not to jar his just-casted arm.

"Yup. Within a few days I'll be right as rain." he said, fending away some overly concerned 100-series. "But right now, all I want to do is sleep."

"Oh, we're sorry. Okay everybody, Chibi-sama's had a tough day. We can all congratulate him and give him his gifts tomorrow." Mary quickly herded everyone off the floor. Just before she left, she turned and winked at him. "But we really are glad you're back, Chibi-sama. Don't go running off like that again, okay?"

"Yes Mary, I'll try not to let myself get kidnapped again." He smiled back at her.

He barely made it to his room, too tired to walk and too tired to call for help. He just wanted the day to be over. When he got there, he saw his younger, taller brother standing there. "Hey, you gonna chew me out too?"

Gaignun didn't say anything for a while, just helped him out of his clothes and into his pjs. The darker URTV was usually a stickler about procedure, he even had a strict routine that he adhered to for washing up. But for tonight, at least, he was willing to forgo his usual rituals. When he finally did speak, his voice was very soft. "I was worried about you."

"I know and I'm sorry. But you don't have too." Tired blue eyes smiled, although Rubedo was too exhausted to move the expression to his face. "After all, I'm invincible."


	14. Jealousy

_"And here's the handsome Director of the Kukai Foundation, Gaignun Kukai. Oooh, and what's this? Not the usual piece of eye candy hanging on his arm now! Why, it's the freshest face on the boards, the quickly rising actress Midori Metsuki! You should have seen her newest film-"_

On the screen, two finely crafted faces leaned forward and kissed. The woman raised her left hand and flashed a 2 carat (he knew, he had been there when it was purchased) diamond on a simple gold band at the camera. After parting the two quickly went in for the awards ceremony, the dark-haired man easily fending away reporters with repeated "No comments".

Typing in the background; the screen changed from the reporters' cameras to the view of the security cameras inside the building. The dark-haired man kept a firm arm around his date's shoulders. His posture screamed of both possessiveness and intimacy.

"Chibi-sama?" asked Mary, raising her hands from the keyboard.

Junior didn't say anything to her. Nor did he turn away from what he was seeing. As the older brother, it wasn't his place to feel jealous of Gaignun. Junior should be happy about this development.

But Rubedo still wished he was the one being embraced.


	15. Soda

"So what are you doing now?"

"Can I do that?"

"I'm bored!"

"Are you sure you don't see any Gnosis?"

"NO!" Mary shouted. "I mean, no I don't think there are any Gnosis in the area, Chibi-sama. So please be patient and just allow the bridge staff to do their work, please?"

"Sorry Mary, I'm just bored."

"So you've said," responded Shelley dryly. "About a dozen times already."

Gaignun sighed. URTVs had a higher tolerance to many things, such as pain, UDO and drugs. Something mild, like caffeine had almost no effect on them (which made getting up Monday morning a pain, but that's another story entirely). But given enough and in conjunction with just the right chemicals (sugar for example), and the URTVs displayed some unusual side-effects. All that and a simple soda was why Junior wasn't being his usual calm and collected self and was instead all but bouncing off the walls of the bridge of the Durindal.

Correction, Junior was literally bouncing off the walls now. Sometime during Gaignun's little brown study he had managed to turn off the artificial gravity. The Director of the Kukai Foundation wondered how he could have been in the air, floating for several minutes without noticing. He was lucky he hadn't drifted too far; he was still in arm's-length and pulled himself back in.

As he buckled his safety straps, he watched Junior annoy the many 100-series who were trying to turn the artificial gravity back on. Every time one of them got close, Junior rebounded back into the area, scaring her off. Finally, Gaignun reached out a hand and snagged the back of his older/younger brother's shirt. He turned the red-headed boy around and kissed him.

Peace and quiet reigned.

For about two minutes. Then a smirk replaced the shocked look on Junior's face and he started racing around, annoying everyone with his hyperactivity again.

Gaignun sighed again. "This is the last time anyone ever gives Junior Jolt to drink."


	16. Salt on the Wound

He expected excitement. He expected enthusiasm. He expected joy.

Gaignun had not expected the solemn, nearly somber silence. "I thought this is what you wanted," he said to the shorter figure with him.

Rubedo shrugged himself out of his coat. Then he bent down and removed his shoes. After that he slowly and carefully waded out into the surf. "It's perfect," he whispered. Almost was silent between them. Like grief and absence, never spoken but always there.

An artificial wind blew an artificial spray onto Gaignun's face. His mouth was filled with the taste of tears.


	17. Monday Morning

The coffee wasn't perking fast enough.

Not that Mary cared. Even a Monday couldn't dampen the younger Godwin sister's optimistic spirit. She was a morning person anyway.

Shelley wasn't as fortunate. She glared at her sister over the coffee pot. "Do you have to be so fucking chirpy right now?"

"Now, now, neesan. With the way you're acting, no one would ever guess that you're the one who turned in early last night while I was partying all weekend."

"And it's damn unfair."

"Look on the bright side. Gaignun-sama hates mornings even more than you do, and the coffee won't do him any good."

"Myurgh." Mary winced. Ever since Gaignun-sama had made it quite clear that the sisters' arm-candy roles were strictly public and that he had no interest that way with them in private, Shelley had had quite a chip on her shoulder. Mary didn't care, she played for the other team anyway, but the older sister had quite a crush on their rescuer.

"Was someone talking about me?" And of course, speak of the devil.

"Good morning, Gaignun-sama," Mary sang out cheerfully. "We were just waiting for the coffee-" The machine finished perking. "-and there it goes. Want some?"

"No thank you. Don't need it." Now that was a surprise. Gaignun always drank coffee Monday mornings. he said he needed every bit of help he could get. The blonde looked more closely at her boss.

Just a bit of an extra sparkle in those green eyes. And yup, a definite glow to the skin. And was that a _hickey_ peeking out from just above the collar of his pajamas? "You got laid!"

"You WHAT?" Now that definitely jolted Shelley awake. "How could you?"

She was ignored. "Yes, I did." Not even a hint of a blush on those cheeks. Mary couldn't help but giggle as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Oooh, good for you, Gaignun-sama! Who was the lucky guy?"

Now that did bring a hint of red to his face. Not a lot, mind you, just barely there. "Not telling," he muttered as started to eat. Mary wasn't surprised he was putting it away; she knew from experience that you could really work up an appetite.

Her sister grabbed the coffee pot. "I think it's disgraceful and-" She was cut off by the entrance of Junior.

"Good morning!" he said as he grabbed a biscuit and an apple from the table. "I've got a meeting this morning, so I'll grab breakfast there." He leaned over and kissed Gaignun, right on the corner of his mouth. "That was _fantastic_! I'll be thinking about it all day." He whirled out of the kitchen again.

Shelley overfilled her cup and spilled boiling hot coffee all over her hand as Mary laughed and Gaignun slowly turned brick-red.


	18. Not Mine

You are not mine.

I don't think you're aware of it yourself. You think you're mine. You want to be mine. Every gift you give me, every promise you make is filled with that desire. But you are not.

You can't fool me. I was built to observe the world around me. I see it all from the shadow in your eyes when you look at me to the flinch you can't suppress when I say your name. Those things tell me all I need to know.

Actually, I don't mind. _Her_ shadow is too strong between us to ever forget. Even if we did, well . . . as you said, I'm not _Her_. I don't need you the way _She_ did and I hope I never will. And if I ever did need someone, as much as you want to be that person, I already have my own champion. You're my friend and my ally, but you're not my lover.

I must admit though, I'm glad you're not _Hers_ either.

Oh and you're not _His_. Maybe you were, once upon a time. However _He's_ dead now and you need to let _Him_ go. You've made _Him_ as happy as I think someone like _Him_ could ever be and _He_ can't hurt anyone else anymore. So please forgive yourself. I think _He'd_ want that too.

You do belong to someone though. He's standing right there beside you, but you're not seeing him. When he gets jealous, when he gets sad, when he wants your attention you're always looking at someone else. At me, at our friends, never at him. Turn around, Rubedo.

And you care for him too. Not in the same way you care for me or cared for _Him and Her_. Here's someone you've always been there for, someone you haven't failed. Someone who isn't a guilty promise or the shadow of another person.

When are you going to admit you love him?


	19. Red Dragon

Red scales stirred restlessly over gold. The dragon shifted in his sleep, ethereal images of bygone eras floated in his luminescent blue eyes. Idly one leg stretched, before being brought up short by the black metal shackle that was chained to the wall.

He dreamed of his youth, of freedom. One of the first creations, Eldest of the Mad God's children. No one would have dared to bind him then. He and his siblings were masters of the universe.

Rubedo, Firstborn, Heart's Blood. He was the essence of metal and heat, had played with the Sun himself and not gotten burned. He had been hailed as both God and Demon, but had never really considered himself either. Rubedo was never truly evil or capricious, but he always felt things in the extreme and acted on those wild emotions. How different he had been from his younger siblings!

That drew his thoughts to his Twin, Albedo, Eternal, the Phoenix. Created within seconds of each other, Albedo had been the other part of himself, the light of the flame to his heat, the ash that was left and the snow that extinguished the fire. Yet at the same time he had been different, quieter than Rubedo's exuberance, solitary while Rubedo sought out others. Rubedo remembered the last time he had seen his twin, ages and ages ago. He wondered how his brother had changed in his last burning. He wondered how many of those pyres he had missed, chained in the cave with only the light he gave off to illuminate the shadows.

He shifted again, disturbing his bed of treasure. The shine from the various coins, jewels and other items caught his eye. The gold was the same color as the hair of his sister, Citrine, the Lady, the Singer, the Lorelei. Now if any of them had been cruel, it had been her. He remembered her delight in drawing mortals to her waterways, drowning them and then carving their bones to make gruesome instruments to accompany her. Flutes and drums, harps and guitars strung with her own long hair, but they made the most beautiful music in the world. Citrine's blood had been colder than the icy streams she had dwelt in, but he still missed her. What he wouldn't give to hear her sing again?

Another yank on the metal chain sent the shadows dancing. That was Nigredo's dominion. Lastborn, Death's Steed, the Basilisk, his youngest brother had always felt most comfortable in the dark. He had always been ashamed of himself, preferring to hide away, even more solitary than Albedo had been. He had disappeared long before any of the others. Even before UDO had come.

Rubedo snarled then attacked the shackle again viciously. UDO had done this to him! UDO and humans, with their petty desires and petty fears! UDO, the demon, with his Song of the Nephilim, seducing the stupid mortals into following him while taking away their souls. It was UDO who had given them the knowledge to bind one of the Elder Children, UDO who had taught them the sigils of the Dead God, UDO who had given them the blood to write them!

UDO who had slaughtered an innocent dryad for her immortal blood. UDO who had murdered Sakura.

If a dragon could cry, he would have. Ultimately it was his fault. His fault for not being strong enough to protect his love. And so he stayed in the cave, bound by the blood of his lover, shackled for so long that not even he knew how much time had passed. All alone, except for the occasional human visitor.

He smirked at that thought. Humans never seemed to learn. They thought him harmless, chained as he was in this lightless cavern. They came to him, demanding immortality, power, wealth. Shouting their petty desires, never realizing how fast he could move, how far his talons could reach. Occasionally, if they were more intelligent than most or had brought a worthy enough gift, he let them live. Even more rarely, if they were particularly interesting, he actually gave them what they asked for. But not often, just enough to ensure that they kept coming. As for the others, well, it had been a while since he could go hunting.

Speaking of which, here came another one of them now. He could hear them coming through the passage. Dragging footsteps, frantic heartbeat, the smell of mortal blood told him everything he needed to know. This one stepped out into the cavern. Rubedo took the opportunity to observe his next meal.

Taller than most, dressed in the same black metal that bound the dragon's leg. Curly, dark hair over pale skin and hypnotizing green eyes that for some reason reminded him of his youngest brother's gaze. The man took a weary breath and shouted, "Monster! I, Gaignun Kukai of Miltia, have come to kill you and claim your treasure for my own!"

If a dragon could roll its eyes, he would. How boring. The last three challenges had been the same, word for word. And how human, calling him a 'monster'. Anything they didn't understand or feared automatically became a 'monster' to them. It wasn't even worth wasting his fire on this guy. His head snaked out and he bit down.

As soon as the taste of blood filled his mouth, he knew something was wrong. Distantly he felt the shackle break and crumble to dust, at the same time he felt his form shrinking. He was being reduced to human form, a shape he hadn't taken since Sakura had been alive. For a moment he was dumbfounded, staring at pale, childlike hands. Then the knowledge of what was wrong kicked in.

What was wrong had been the taste of blood. It had been sweet with none of the metallic taste that so characterized mortality. Rubedo had eaten enough humans and half-humans to know the difference and this man had not the slightest taint of impending death on his soul. Until now.

Sky blue eyes looked up in horror. "I-I don't understand."

The man smiled. "Don't worry about it. You'll be able to take your real form again, as soon as I'm dead."

Rubedo fell to his knees, ignoring the bits of metal that dug into his now soft skin. "Who are you?"

"Has it been so long that you've forgotten me, Eldest Brother?"

"N-nigredo?" It would have been a strange sight, a naked boy cradling the head of a dying man in a room filled with gold and jewels and illuminated only by a slight glow from the boy's skin. "Why did you do this?"

"It was the only way." The man coughed, blood flying from his mouth. "Just as the death of an immortal bound you, only the death of one could free you."

"But why you? Why not get someone else? Or Albedo?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sure you would have preferred Albedo to rescue you."

"At least with Albedo I know he'd be okay! You're dying!"

"At least this way I'm doing something useful, rather than simply poisoning everything around me with my existence. It's better this way."

"Don't say that!"

"It's true . . . " His youngest brother was fading away and there was nothing he could do to stop it. "I'm kind of glad I did it this way."

"How-how can you be happy about this!" Tears, of pure liquid silver began to streak down a childlike face.

"I'm being held . . . by the most important person to me . . . " Weaker and weaker and Rubedo was holding on so tightly that his nails broke through fabric and skin. But he couldn't stop his brother's soul from slipping away. It had never been in his power to do so. "I could . . . never do that before."

"You-you idiot!"

"Yeah . . . I should have . . . tried this long ago." He took a deep breath. "Rubedo . . . I'll be waiting . . . but not too soon, okay?" Green eyes closed.

Rubedo was left with the taste of his brother's blood in his mouth.


	20. Nostalgia

It was the first time they'd been in the Encephalon since Miltia fell.

Helmer had been an excellent military commander but obviously was clueless on how to raise children. He gave them free run of his house, access to the both the public and military archives and took care of their physical requirements and medical needs, but didn't have any idea on how to keep them out of trouble. The Encephalon had been a measure of desperation on his part.

Rubedo dove right in. His happiest memories had been created in the virtual world and he wanted to reclaim as much of that time as he could. Nigredo was just as eager. Although previously he had been indifferent to the experience, being continually bed-bound due to his wounds had made him hungry for any form of entertainment.

It had been a relief to finally be able to walk and run around, even if only in his mind. However, when he finally found Rubedo again, it was clear that the excursion hadn't been quite as profitable for his older brother.

"It isn't right." Rubedo said, glaring at the broken down fence.

"What isn't right?" The black-haired boy stared at the cottage his brother had created. It was a homely sort of place, with a stone-wall fence, flower-filled garden and stone steps. Nigredo thought it was rather nice and couldn't see the problem with it.

"It's all wrong." Rubedo began to point to various aspects of that he found displeasing. "The fence is supposed to be of white pickets. There was a lawn, not a garden, and a swing on the porch. This thing doesn't even have a porch. And here-" He grabbed Nigredo's hand and led him inside. "No piano. And this room looks nothing like Hers."

The emphasis he placed on the last word alerted Nigredo to the issue. "You're trying to recreate Sakura's home?" He had never spent that much time with Mizrahi's daughter; he couldn't remember how her house had looked.

"Yeah, but none of it turns out right." He ran his hands through his red hair. "Every time I fix something, something else changes."

"That's no surprise. The cottage was a creation of her mind. You're obviously not the same person, so you shouldn't expect to be able to make it exactly the same."

"But-I wanted-aaargh! I just wanted to hang on to something of hers. There's nothing else left." Nigredo contemplated reminding his older brother of Sakura's 'little sister', but decided that was the last thing Rubedo wanted to hear about at that moment.

"Stop trying so hard. Think of this as your cabin, not hers." The red-haired boy opened his mouth but the other one overrode him. "Besides, don't you think it would be rather painful, seeing this place just as it was when she was still alive?"

"I guess so . . . it's just . . . this is where everything happened. Where she learned the piano, where she told me about her sister." Another shift of shoulders. "That porch was where she-" He cut himself off with a jerk of his head.

"Do you," Nigredo hesitated for a brief second before sitting down on the ground. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yeah . . . I think so." Rubedo curled up next to his darker counterpart and began. 


	21. Alcohol

"Gaignun?"

"Come in, Rubedo." The red-headed stepped into the gloomy room. The only light came from a computer screen, casting a spectral glow on his younger brother's face. "I was just catching up on some paperwork."

"I see." He made his way over, pausing when he spotted the glass on the desk. "You've been drinking?"

"Just to relax." He smirked at the shorter boy. "If you're that worried you can check over my work later."

"That's not the point! You never drink!"

"After all that's been going on-"

"Gaignun, what's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you've been acting downright weird. You've been having headaches and blackouts, not to mention isolating yourself. One day you acting worried and depressed; then today you're so cheerful as if you didn't have a care in the world. I don't think I understand you any more!"

The other wrapped his arm around Junior's shoulders and drew him closer. "I'm sorry. It's just stress." And then in undertone. "There's nothing to worry about. Everything is going according to plan." That startled Junior; he didn't think Gaignun had meant for him to hear that last part. And what plan was he talking about?

Junior couldn't keep his anxiety out of his eyes or his voice. "Are you sure? You know, you can tell me anything."

"I'm fine." The Director smiled again, and the blue-eyed boy was hit by a wave of deja-vu. This reminded him of the uncomfortable conversation they had just a few days ago. The dark room, the fluorescent glow bleaching all color from his brother's hair and eyes, the same almost creepy affection in Gaignun's actions, it was exactly the same. "Are you alright?"

That snapped his attention back to the present. "Wha-what?"

"Don't think I haven't noticed. You're still brooding over what just happened."

"It's none of your-"

"Of course it is. Anything that deals with you is my concern." The man picked up the tumbler that had started the argument. "Here, you look like you need this as well."

Blue eyes widened. Now he was sure something was wrong with younger brother. Gaignun had never approved of the older URTV's habit of occasionally indulging in alcohol and now he was actually offering some to Junior? "Wait, are you-"

"Say ahh." The cool glass was carefully placed on his lips. Deciding it wasn't worth fighting over, the younger looking boy took a small sip. To his surprise, the liquor smelled strongly of peaches.

"Did you like it? I don't believe you've had schnapps before." The taller man took a swallow of the alcohol. Junior didn't say anything. "Rubedo?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

"It's alright. Listen, this has been rougher on you than me. Why don't you take a vacation? Spend some time with that creature. I'll take care of your work."

The alarm bells just got louder and louder. "Are you sure?" asked Junior. "After what you just said-"

Then Gaignun waved him off, already focused on whatever Junior had interrupted. Rather than say anything else, Junior walked out of the room.

He had more questions now than when he first walked in.


	22. Phone Call

They had just boarded the Durandal and were clearing the system when Jr. felt the faint whisper across his mind. He sat down, gestured to Mary to take over and closed his eyes. _Gaignun?_

_**Hello, older brother.**_

_Is something wrong?_

_**No, I just finished my meeting and I thought I'd check up on you.**_

A flash of irritation went through him and he frowned. _Don't you trust me? I am the oldest._

**_Of course. I've never doubted you for a second. _**Calm and soothing. **_I'm just curious how your task is going. Are you having any difficulty._**

Jr. felt slightly ashamed for snapping at his brother. _I-I-I'm sorry. _He straightened up, even though he knew Gaignun couldn't see him. _And everything is fine. We got found another Emulator._

_**Oh? That's the seventh one, correct?**_

_Yup. In fact it was downright easy. _He felt something strange, as if someone was ruffling his hair. Blue eyes opened, but no one was near. _It was on a small colony and it was not trouble at all._

_**No fight? How much did they ask for then?** _His fingers tingled with the phantom sensation of metal and cloth.

_We didn't even have to pay them; they just gave it away. _Jr. felt something slip from his shoulders, but when he reached up his jacket was still in place. _They were being pressured by UTIC. I hope you don't mind, but I put a public announcement out on the UMN channel that we got this one. Hopefully, UTIC will concentrate on us and leave the colony free of reprisals._

**_But it didn't cost you anything? _**He felt the same itch against his fingers again, then the slide of departing fabric. Involuntarily, he shivered at the nonexistent breeze that brushed his skin. _All right, what the heck is going on!_

_**Calm down, I'm just trying something new. Anyway, you were saying?**_

It wasn't worth stopping him for now. The redhead focused on the conversation. _Didn't cost us anything except time and fuel. In fact, we've got a bead on another Emulator and we're going after it now._

Worry and panic filled the link. **_What? You're not coming back to the Foundation?_**

_Hey, hey, didn't we just have this conversation? I can take care of myself._

**_You're right. _**The other's emotions faded back. **_There are some things you need to know. _**As his brother updated him on various issues of the Foundation and the UMN, Jr. became aware of more sensations filtering through the link. Cool touches, over his face and down the back of his neck. Dancing over his clavicle, then firmer ones on his shoulders and arms. They were hardly unpleasant, in fact they were . . . he squirmed in his seat. _Gaignun, what are you doing?_

The other broke off his litany. **_I did say I was done with work for the day, didn't I? _**Junior became aware of something else filtering through the link. Amusement and . . . he felt his pulse and breath begin to speed up in sympathetic rhythm.

_Gaignun!_

**_Shhh. You don't want anyone else to notice, do you? _**Nonexistent hands swept up his sides, up his throat to brush against his lips. "Mmmmm," he tried to suppress a groan.

"Chibi-sama?" He opened his eyes to see Mary staring at him. "Chibi-sama are you alright? You look kind of flushed."

"I'm fine." He tried not to pant.

"Are you sure?"

"I-" Something traced his nipples and he nearly squeaked. "Actually, no in factI'mfeelingkindoffeverishIthinkI'mgoingtoliedownforawhileseeya!" He bolted off the bridge, nearly stumbling when he felt Gaignun discard his pants.

"Bastard," he hissed, pressing his forehead against the cool metal walls of the empty corridor. _Lay off, will you!_

**_What's the point of having power if you don't use it? _**Soft cotton against his back, at least his brother wasn't doing this in the office.

The younger (in appearance) Director rushed through the halls of the Durandal, intent on getting to his room. For a while, his younger (in reality) brother was content to let him be, just teasing himself and not interfering. Then Junior encountered one of the 100-series.

"Hello, Chibi-sama."

"H-h-hi!" he stuttered out. Of course, Gaignun chose that exact moment to stop teasing himself. It was all Jr. could do to stay standing.

As soon as the conversation was over (he hoped he had been coherent, but he couldn't remember anything of what had been said), he sent a wave of annoyance to his younger brother. _I am going to make you regret doing this!_

_**I look forward to your revenge.**_

Jr. had several more encounters on the way to his room and each time, Gaignun took particular care to do something that would ensure that his older brother's mind was anywhere but where it should be. By the time he reached the final corridor, Jr. was a shaking wreck. "Just a little farther, just a little farther, then I can collapse." he whispered to himself.

Of course, his younger brother was too much of a sadist to let him get away that easily. Already close, he felt the touch deepen from the teasing of earlier, and the strokes speed up. He reached the door, then nearly collapsed, trembling in shared orgasm.

"Dammit," he muttered, slumped against the door. "You could have at least waited until I got to my room."

Cool laughter filled his mind. **_Come home safely, brother. Come home soon._**


	23. Comprehension

"Hey, you know, I don't think," said Junior staring into the whiskey tumbler. "I ever understood Albedo.

"So many things I never knew about him. So many secrets.

"Sakura . . . I knew he didn't like her. But I never realized how much he hated her.

"In the-the anomaly . . . he kept hitting her over and over again. Like he wanted to kill her with his bare hands. And what he said, 'I'm glad she's dead! She was always flirting with you! Now there's no one left to seduce you.' He sounded like a jealous lover!"

Slowly, Junior's head slipped forward. Throughout the evening his voice had steadily gotten softer and his words more slurred. He knew it was only a matter of time before his older brother fell asleep.

"Gaignun," the red head whispered. "Do you understand any of this? Do you understand him at all?"

"Yes"

"I'm glad. I never did." With that, the boy's head fell forward and he dropped into sleep.

"Of course I understand him." Gaignun put away the bottle of whiskey and the tumbler, then carefully lifted his older brother. He tucked him into bed and kissed his forehead. "I hated her too."


	24. Dolls

It started as one of Albedo's whims.

Albedo, fragile, insecure and unstable. The entire household revolved around his needs, catering to his wants, soothing his nightmares, following his insane demands without a murmur. Nigredo would never trade places with the schizophrenic albino, but sometimes he wished he didn't have the other chaining him down. Or at least that their father would do something about Albedo, rather than simply foisting his unstable son off on the rest of the estate. But Dmitri was never there, always bringing Citrine with him, always leaving Nigredo to deal with the problems.

So when Albedo insisted on dragging him down to the boutique, some shady store tucked in the worst part of the City, Nigredo went with nothing more than a sigh and a roll of his viridian eyes. He let his twin weave his way through incense-filled corridors, peeking into curtained alcoves and ignoring Mary and Shelley's squeals of adoration at the too many, too perfect, identical, sleeping faces that resided there. Finally bored, he threw himself down on a couch in the lobby to drink the white-haired owner's too sweet tea and wait for the others to either find their purchases or become bored and leave.

"Oh how pretty!"

"Isn't it cute, Master Nigredo?"

He composed his face into blank neutrality before opening his eyes. "Very nice," he agreed to pleading blue and violet eyes. The doll they had chosen was nice, and unique among too many blonde, blue-eyed, rose-cheeked models. Although equally youthful, this model had short, curling pink hair and golden eyes. "What's its name?"

They laughed at him. "It doesn't have a name yet, Master Nigredo. But we were thinking of naming it Momo, just like it's hair."

"Ah, yes, the Kirshwasser prototype." The owner, red eyes gleaming avariciously, popped out of nowhere and nearly scared the business man into spilling his tea. "Only one hundred dolls were ever made of this type and it was the last created by Joachim Mizrahi before his death." The eyes dimmed slightly. "A rather durable model, needs very little in the way of accessories and maintenance-"

He tuned the man out. "So this is Albedo's choice?"

"Oh no Master Nigredo." Shelley shook her head. "This is our choice; Master Albedo is still searching in the back."

"Mary . . . Shelley . . . "

"Don't worry about it, Master Nigredo. We'll pay for this one ourselves."

"Speaking of payment, may I say that we do offer low-interest loans-"

He left the Godwin sisters to hammer out the details by themselves. Even if Mary was a little flighty, he had faith in Shelley's ability to get the best of the bargain. Albedo was another story; he worried about what havoc his twin might wreck while unsupervised.

The dark haired man was almost to the very back of the store (which was much larger than it had appeared from outside) before he saw the other. "Look at him, Nigredo. Doesn't he look just like we did?"

Nigredo shifted his gaze down to the doll and started. Albedo was right, it did look like a younger version of the twins, but with luminescent blue eyes and bloody red hair. "I didn't think they made male dolls." he said to cover his surprise.

"There are a few models." Again, the owner appeared from nowhere. "They are not in as high demand as the female types but a few designers do produce them. This for example is the one male Kukai prototype."

"So I take it this is slightly cheaper than the usual models then?" And felt a frisson of satisfaction when he noticed the disappointment in the owner's face.

"Yes, but you are forgetting the accessories. This one comes with-"

* * *

The price might have been eye-popping to some, but a mere pittance to the Yurievs. Nigredo came away feeling that between the Godwins and his brother the owner hadn't done quite as well as he usually did in commissions.

* * *

Most plant dolls that Nigredo had seen were purely ornamental, good for nothing but sitting in pretty poses and blowing kisses at their owners. He'd come across a few that could do a little more, perfume the air or sing, but they were otherwise useless. The two that they had purchased were remarkably durable and intelligent. They didn't need the finely woven silk sheets or elaborate diets that others did, could participate in simple and complex tasks, and had even come up with a rudimentary sign language (neither could speak) to communicate with the other members of the household.

Nigredo found himself interacting more and more with Rubedo, his brother's purchase. The doll was particularly clever; it could be assigned as a go-for and given a computer could conduct preliminary research for Nigredo. To his surprise, Nigredo found it harder and harder to remember that Rubedo was actually a doll and not a person.

Yet he was often brought up short. The doll was obliging only when Albedo or the Godwin sisters was near, otherwise it would just ignore Nigredo. Or if it was in the middle of a task and one of the others wanted something else, it would drop what it was doing immediately in their favor. The doll was Albedo's guardian and companion; controlling his tantrums, listening to his secrets, and at least on one occasion, protecting him from an assassination attempt.

For the first time in his life, Nigredo found himself jealous of his brother. And over a doll!

"This is ridiculous." he muttered to himself, watching the red-haired plant doll sleep. "I've been second all my life. Second to Citrine for Dmitri, second to Albedo for mother, second to Dmitri for the company. Why should I be jealous because of a doll?"

He stepped towards the bed, then leaned down. He hesitated for a second, then brushed a kiss over the dolls forehead. The shopkeeper's words came back to him.

_You must remember, it is the doll that chooses it's owner, not the other way around. I know when this has happened because the doll will wake up when the customer approaches. Otherwise, the doll will continue to sleep and nothing the customer can do will change its mind._

When he leaned back, Rubedo was still asleep. The dark-haired man knew that if it was Albedo in his position, the doll would have woken up when he first entered the room, woken up and smiled with the glowing eyes filled with emotion.

He turned away and laughed. His hopes had never been more than a dream.


	25. Calligraphy

"Why am I the one stuck doing all the paperwork?" To be fair, Gaignun wasn't actually doing any work at all at the moment. Instead, he was seated at his desk, with a cup of green tea and a donut, flipping through one of his older brother's journals that he had borrowed (read: stolen) from the red-head's room. Beside the Kaiser was a large stack of paperwork that needed to be done, but was set aside in favor of reading about his brother's last trip to Second Miltia.

"We should make blown-up copies of these and sell them as artwork." Rather than actually reading, he was instead examining the actual chirography. Each word was perfectly slanted on the line and all were .25 cm apart, as if aligned by a ruler. Every line was elegantly tapered and every dot, jot or tittle was a charming accent. The loops were elaborate curlicues. Even the quick dashes had style- he didn't think you could put style into a dash! "Really, it makes my signature look like chicken scratches! I don't know how he does-"

"How who does what?" Gaignun quickly shoved the worn journal into a desk drawer and grabbed a sheet off the stack beside him. "And aren't you supposed to be working?"

"I was just getting started."

Blue eyes narrowed at the half-eaten donut. "Rrriiiggghhhttt . . . "

"Anyway, how was your trip?"

The shorter male shrugged. "Typical. Boring. One good thing about being stuck in this form; Mary and Shelley don't ask me to carry all their shopping bags. But I still have to sit through the hours of fittings and offer my opinions; you know what a minefield that is."

Gaignun chuckled. "Well, you could have stayed here and done some of the paperwork instead."

"Naah. If I did that, what would I need you for?" Junior slipped around the desk and climbed into his younger brother's lap. "So, did you miss me?"

"It's only been a few hours. But you did leave me with all the paperwork."

"So I should make it up to you then." And he leaned forward.

LATER THAT NIGHT

"Now I remember why I do the paperwork," he whispered, while his older brother traced sleepy lines on his bare back.

OMAKE:

"Gaignun, why is the safe in my room open?"

"Err . . . "

"And why are some of my journals missing?"

"Well, you see . . . "

(ominous sound of gun being cocked)

"I'vegotameetingtogotocatchyoulaterNiisan!"

(sound of door slamming)

"Hmph!"


	26. Beach of Nothingness

It was a place that only existed in dreams.

The black cliffs and cloudy sky, he had only heard about them, never expecting that he would come here some day himself. The grey waves continued to crash on the white sand, but the world was completely silent. The air tasted flat and dead.

_Albedo?_ He reached deep inside himself, but got no response. Even his second heartbeat was absent. Junior shivered, feeling alone and cold.

He started walking. Like the waves, his footsteps made no sound over the sand. Once, when he stopped and turned around, he noticed that he left no footprints in his wake. He didn't know how long he continued along. It could have been hours. It could have been days.

Finally, he came upon a child building a sandcastle. Someone he hadn't seen for a very long time. Junior took a step back. "Gaignun?" He heard his voice echo strangely over the land.

The other boy looked up and smiled. "Hi Rubedo." His black haired brother reached out one hand. Bemused, he took it and allowed the other to drag him down. To his surprise, he could feel the gritty dampness of the quartz grains.

"What's going on here? I thought this place disappeared with the UMN."

"Rubedo," Gaignun had returned to building the castle. "I said we'd play together again, didn't I?"

"Well, yeah. But you're dead."

The other smiled and shook his head. "I'm waiting, waiting for you to find me again." He began to dig a moat around the castle.

"You are?" Unconsciously, Junior began to help his brother.

"Yes"

"But how can we . . . " the redhead's shoulders slumped. "We've been looking for so long . . . "

To Junior's surprise, he felt the other embrace him. "Yeah, I know. And that's why I wanted to see you. So that you could know that you're on the right track."

Junior looked up into too familiar eyes. That gentle, caring expression made him uncomfortable. He felt he had disappointed those eyes. "Gaignun, I-"

"I'm sorry, I've kept you here longer than I should." The other leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. "Find me, niisan. Don't keep me waiting too long."

* * *

Junior opened his eyes to find MOMO shaking him. "I'm up, I'm up," he muttered. Shifting one hand to his chest he felt the second heart beat pulsing strongly.

She smiled at him. "We've found another planet! First Contact'll be in two hours."

"Thanks MOMO. I really appreciate this."

"Hurry up then! Or Ziggy and I will leave without you!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be there, alright?"

She laughed and skipped out of the room. Junior closed his eyes and collapsed back on his bed.

"So it was just a dream," he muttered to himself. He was about to run his hand through his hair, but then he stopped. Small, damp, white grains of sand were caught in the creases of his palm. He stared at them for a minute then smirked.

_Hey Albedo!_

**What?** His twin woke sluggishly from his own dream.

_We've got a new planet to explore!_

**So?**

_And I've got a great feeling about this one!_


	27. Transitions

The first measures of the recording took him by surprise. The player was old, but the song even older. Older than Fifth Jerusalem, perhaps old enough to have been composed on Lost Jerusalem. Redone in with computer programming and synthetics, then covered again in static Gaignun barely recognized it. Yet, it was still that same melody.

_Alas my love, you do me wrong _

_To cast me off discourteously,_

_And I have loved you so long_

_Delighting in your company._

The memories it stirred, however, were only a few years old. The first time and last time he had heard it had been through an open window at the Institute. If he closed his eyes he could still feel the hot sun beating down on his head, with Albedo's angry muttering mixing with the buzz of cicadas in the background. The traditional melody was being picked out on a piano by one hand. Occasionally, the notes would trip up and soft laughter would take their place.

_I have been ready at your hand_

_To grant whatever you desire;_

_I have both waged life and land,_

_Your love and goodwill for to have_

On the side, Sakura's lips would just barely tilt up. Juri and Rubedo watched her smile at the red-head's mistakes on the piano and laugh. He remembered how uncomfortable watching them had made him feel. They had seemed almost happy, yet even now Gaignun remembered the chill that he had felt watching the scene. Had it been an early premonition of the tragedies that would come?

_If you intend thus to disdain,_

_It does the more enrapture me;_

_And even so I still remain_

_A love in captivity_

He opened his eyes and looked back at the display. The catalog labeled it as a 'cassette player' including a set of 'cassettes' with unknown songs. A valuable and unusual antique, still in good working condition. Expensive, but hardly a trifle to a Director of the Kukai Foundation. Exactly the sort of thing that Rubedo liked.

_And yet thou wouldst not love me,_

_Thou couldst desire no earthly thing;_

_Still thou hadst it readily,_

_Thy music still to play and sing._

The nineteen year old slipped inside the apartment on Second Miltia. Seeing the red-head passed out at his desk made him feel guilty. While he went out and did all the public relations aspect of the Foundation, Rubedo was stuck behind the desk doing all the paperwork and planning. Later on, things would probably change, when Gaignun was old enough to hold his own in the business world, but right now the only time his older brother left was when Helmer had an assignment for them. Right now, however, the burden of creating their new lives fell squarely on the older URTVs shoulders.

He carefully made his way over and deposited the neatly wrapped package on the desk. Then he picked up his brother and carried him into his room and placed him on the bed. "Happy Birthday," he whispered, brushing a kiss across his forehead and tucking him in.


	28. Dialog

Rubedo hates his eyes. There are many reasons for this.

First, they remind him of the sky. Not the real one, but rather one in the Encephalon. The fake, flat one that was the perfect sky blue, but not really because the sky never was that color. The one that never changed even if it was sunny or snowing (or dying). The only one that Sakura had ever seen because she died and he had never shown her what a real sky looked like. His eyes reminded him of failure.

_Gaignun's always liked the shore of the Foundation. He likes the sky and he likes the sea. He likes the amount of effort put into them and the fact that none of it shows; they are perfect replicas of the real thing. The whole display is a result of the tremendous success they have had with the Foundation. Yet most of all, he likes the color._

He also hates them because they're the exact same shade as the Hilbert Effect. He doesn't know if that was by design or chance, but it really doesn't matter. Mary calls them cute and says they're exactly like her own, and sometimes that helps for a while. But then he'll glance in the mirror and the color will hit him again. He hates what it shows him. That unlike Mary, he is only a weapon.

_He also likes Junior's guns. Whenever he sees them, he can't help but imagine how his brother uses them. All swift movement and action and that reckless grin on the red-head's face. He'll never admit all of this; of course, he's supposed to be the pacifistic side of the Foundation. But to him, they represent action and power and daring._

Finally, he hates them because they came from Dmitri Yuriev. He envies Albedo, Nigredo and Citrine for their violet, green and brown irises. Of all the variants, he is the only one who inherited their father's blue eyes, the eyes of the man he hates more than anyone or anything else in the universe. They are also the same blue eyes of the collective. The same blue eyes that he massacred when he failed his duty as a leader. The eyes of a killer.

_Probably the oddest thing Gaignun likes is the tattoo on his hand. Given the Foundation's wealth and technology, he could have easily had it removed. But Junior didn't and Gaignun likes to think of it as a visible reminder of the past._

_But really none of this is strange to Gaignun. He likes the tattoo because it is a connection to his brother. He likes the guns because he likes to picture Junior using them, a wild grin on his face and a bold flash in his eyes. And he likes the sea and the sky because they're just the same perfect blue as his brother's eyes._

_And Gaignun loves his brother's eyes._

* * *

AN:Yeah, I know, it says 30, but due to rating restrictions, I'm only posting to 28 here. Please go to or my Greatestjournal account (check my profile) to read the last two stories.


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